I’m Tom, I’m 26, and it’s been a good five months since I stopped watching porn. The results are more than satisfying. I’m more willing to talk to women, at work and in general. My “attractiveness threshold” has dropped, meaning I find more women attractive, and every one of them has something interesting about her. It takes very little to turn me on: some fantasy about a colleague, the sight of a nicely dressed woman I find attractive. I don’t need anything on a screen at all to get my soldier standing to attention, heh. I’m a bit more self-confident. My posture has improved; I can walk upright, like a man. I’ve even managed to cut down on masturbation a bit, to once every two or three days (unfortunately I don’t have a steady partner).
But there’s something I can’t work out or find an answer to. I have quite a high sex drive, or so it seems to me. If I don’t give myself some release every three days or so, I start walking around on edge. All my thoughts circle around that one subject. I feel a strong urge to do something with someone or to give in to masturbation. On the other hand, once I’ve had that release, my energy and motivation drop for the rest of the day. Going two or three weeks without it, let alone a month, is unimaginable to me. After that long I could probably come from an ordinary touch. I’m less worried about whether I’ll get hard with a woman than about how fast I’ll come.
Still, what matters most to me is something else. On one hand, I love the feeling of being charged, sometimes even overcharged, with energy, sex drive and confidence. On the other hand, like any normal guy, I like orgasms, and sometimes I really want one and my head keeps nagging me about it, except that afterwards I seem to lose my vital energy.
It’s a hard nut to crack. I struggle to stay abstinent for long, although I have no problems with my penis; I’ve actually grown to like it :). With a woman I can come quickly (with masturbation it doesn’t take me long either), let alone after full abstinence. I don’t know how to reconcile all of this.
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