My boyfriend has been addicted for a good few years now, and we’ve been together for almost two. He admitted it to me five months into our relationship. I understood, and I started helping him, despite the pain he was causing me with what he did. I thought the problem had gone away, but every month it turned out he was still doing it. He didn’t want to listen to me, he didn’t want the hand I was holding out to him… In arguments he said it was my fault, that I didn’t satisfy him, that I didn’t want to help him… I stayed with him anyway. I was there and I supported him, I begged him to do something about it, told him I would help him but that he had to want it. I know he’s very weak, and we saw each other quite rarely because I was at school far away from him, and unfortunately he gave in.
All that came of our efforts was that we limited his internet access so he wouldn’t be tempted, and I started doing everything I could to please him in bed. Today I know that was a mistake, because it destroyed me…
Now he says he doesn’t watch porn, but I know the fantasies are still in his head. I’m scared, because I’m leaving for university and he’ll be left on his own, surrounded by people for whom porn is completely normal. I don’t trust him at all anymore because of the constant lies, but I still want to help him.
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