Today is day 30 without masturbation and porn. It’s also the hardest day.
Let me describe in a few words how it went for me. The first 14 days were very easy to get through. I deleted all the porn from my bookmarks and avoided any nudity on websites and on TV. From about day 10 I started to feel euphoria, confidence and joy. Feelings I hadn’t had for at least a year. As great as that was, on days 14 and 15 I felt terrible. Shame again, staring at the floor, my body trembling. Then I gradually got my energy back, and for the past week or so I’ve been feeling excellent. Confidence and peace of mind are back. I sleep well, I make a plan for the day and actually manage to follow it. I read books with real interest, I exercise almost every day. On the street or on the bus I look people straight in the eye. I notice women’s interest. I make them be the first to look away, which gives me a huge kick.
Did I want to go back to the habit? Of course, there were a few situations like that, but so far I’m managing. Today, after 30 days, came the biggest hit. I went onto a live cam site, supposedly out of curiosity. I watched those girls for over an hour. Luckily I didn’t masturbate, but believe me, IT’S NOT WORTH IT. I went outside, and my confidence wasn’t as big as it had been a few hours earlier. What’s more, even my voice sounded weaker. From one hour of porn!!
So as I see it, there really are far more pluses to giving up porn and masturbation than minuses.
Find yourself as many activities as you can. Today I had more free time and the habit attacked me out of nowhere, but I’m fighting on. I know 30 days isn’t enough for me yet; I’m thinking at least 60. Next week I’m going to a party and I hope to meet a girl. The best part is that I’ll have a good time even if it doesn’t work out.
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