When I was at university, everything was fine: porn, drinking, women, never a problem. Maybe because I liked that kind of lifestyle, I never found anyone steady. Five years went by with nothing but porn and masturbation. Today I’m in a relationship with the kind of woman you wait your whole life for. I’m completely in love and happy, but… I kept wondering why my arousal was so weak, even with “intense” foreplay. I thought that once things got serious it would be fine. I did sometimes get erections with her.
But when it actually comes to it, it ends in a dud. It’s probably stress, but probably also porn, and missing the kind of stimulation it gives me. I haven’t touched myself for a week, and that’s my record in five years. I slipped a bit with porn at the weekend, but now I’m firmly determined to be done with it completely. The most important problem is what happens to the relationship… I love her. I don’t know what will happen if this ends. Healing will definitely take time. I get regular erections at night, and I live a healthy, active life. And everything could fall apart, because I can’t get an erection and can’t make love to the woman of my life. She’s understanding and patient, but I don’t know how long she’ll put up with it. I know there’s no easy answer. All I keep thinking about is how not to lose her.
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