My first contact with porn came in my early teens. At first I didn’t realise the dangers it brings with it. Luckily, back then and still now, I did a lot of sport, especially soccer, so I didn’t have long sessions. But sometimes I’d masturbate, say, three days in a row. Because of my experiences with porn, I found it hard to get close to girls.
I started realising more and more clearly what a swamp I’d dug myself into. I decided there was no better way to quit than finding a girlfriend. That was very hard for me, because I hadn’t stopped masturbating. I had some kind of inflated expectations of girls. Usually everything ended after one or two dates. One day, when I was watching a music video with a sexy girl in it, I didn’t get hard. I realised I was getting erections less and less often. I slammed my fist on the table and decided to stop masturbating. The first attempt ended in failure after five weeks. At the start it was hard: my body felt sluggish, my libido dropped, and so on. Now I’m fighting again, but this time the situation has changed a bit. After two weeks without masturbating I met a beautiful girl.
Things are moving very fast, but I still notice I have erection problems. When we kiss I feel myself getting hard, but the erection isn’t as strong as it used to be. I’m VERY afraid of that really close contact. I keep putting my hand down my pants to check whether it’s any better, and I’m disappointed every time. Even though I’m limp, I feel a big improvement in other areas. I’m very self-confident, I feel better, and my skin has cleared up a lot. It’s been almost a month now. It also worries me a little that porn doesn’t pull me at all since I’ve had a girlfriend. I don’t know if that’s a good sign. I try to fantasise a lot, to force my brain to make an effort, and on top of that I run or play soccer every day. I keep wondering whether I’ll ever get back to full function.
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