I’ll start by saying that I started reading about porn addiction (thankfully!!!) after a date with my new girlfriend (around our eighth) when I noticed a total lack of erection… but let me explain it properly.
In my previous relationship, which lasted two years, I never had a drop in libido or problems with erections, even though I watched porn in between seeing her and masturbated (strange?).
We maybe didn’t see each other that often, about once a week, but I was the one practically pushing sex on her; my libido was huge. But then it happened… she moved away, met another man, I won’t go into it, and I was single for about half a year. During that half year I fapped, sometimes very often (three times a day, or once a day but twice in a row). In the meantime I went abroad for work, and I fapped there too, less often because of the job (but it happened at work as well…). About two months ago I came back home and straight away met a woman from my area.
We started seeing each other. For the first six dates or so, no touching, just some kissing.
On the next date the touching started. As soon as she let me touch her intimate areas through her leggings, I had a huge urge to start having sex… she started touching me intimately too, and the erection was massive.
She gave me the pleasure of bringing me to the top with her hand, and then I made her feel good too… And now the most important part. The date that was supposed to start our sex life went fine, everything normal, libido really high, we did heavy petting, touching and so on. When she went down on me, zero problems with my erection. Just the fact that she was looking at my dick made me hard (and it still does), maybe not as hard as after being stimulated by hand and so on, but hard. The problem comes when it gets to the point where I’m supposed to put my penis inside her: everything suddenly drops completely, the erection just stops, and I don’t know what’s causing it…
Is it stress?
(At home, all I have to do is think that she might text me saying she’ll get me off, and I get an erection straight away. I’d like to drive over and just fuck her properly. My libido is at its highest when I’m alone, EVEN WITHOUT PORN, because I’ll add that even fapping to those pictures and fake videos has started to bore me…)
A female friend hinted at what she’d do to me if I weren’t in a relationship, and I immediately started boiling over…
I’ve read that masturbation combined with porn is the worst evil; there’s talk about diet, but also about getting rid of stress.
Is stress what’s killing my erection? When I’m about to go inside her, the game’s simply over.
(My lifestyle: I do a demanding sport three times a week, I run three times a week, I have passions, I write my own songs.)
I really need to understand this, because I’m sliding into depression. I don’t feel like a man, over one stupid thing, because I’m not short of strength or energy for life, especially since I stopped masturbating and watching porn FOR GOOD.
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